Woman's Health Centers

When Someone You Love Needs a Choice


Showing Her You Care

  1. Let her know you are sorry she is the one going through all of this physically.
  2. Check in with her often about how she is feeling.
  3. Do something special for her such as a card, flowers, a love letter, a back rub.
  4. Be affectionate, but be prepared for her not to want to be sexual. You may feel rejected, but remember that she connects sex with this difficult situation.
  5. Be understanding about pregnancy symptoms. Nausea, tiredness, irritability, and moodiness are all pregnancy symptoms. Most will go away within a few days after an abortion. If she continues the pregnancy, some symptoms like nausea may go away after 12 weeks or so.
  6. If she chooses abortion, you can read over the aftercare instructions she is given. Have pain medications available and maybe a heating pad or hot water bottle. Help her avoid infection by not having intercourse for 2 weeks. If she is choosing to continue the pregnancy, you can attend prenatal visits and birthing classes with her.
  7. Help with birth control. Use condoms. Help pay for the other birth control options. Practice safe sex.

Talking to someone

She may want to talk professionally if she is not handling the whole thing well. It may help for you to talk to someone too. She may not be the only one having a hard time. Ask your doctor of clinic if there is someone you can speak to. Or, seek out counseling from a mental health clinic, a family planning clinic or a private therapist. Sometimes talking to a clergyperson is what you may be looking for. Many books and websites in the resource section are especially for men. If you continue to have a hard time with your partner’s decision, get help.